Teacher: "Whoa, what happened? How did you hurt your ankle?"
Student: "I fell"
Teacher:"Fell off what?"
Student:"My skateboard"
Teacher: "Dang, that looks pretty bad for falling off a skateboard."
Student:"Well I fell off my skateboard, off of my roof"
Teacher: "what?"
Student: "Over the weekend I tried to ride my long board on the roof of my house."
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
September 28, 2010
"Isn't dysentery like diarrhea from hell? Well diarrhea is already hell but I bet dysentery is worse."
Monday, September 27, 2010
September 27, 2010
Student: "Can I move seats?"
Teacher: "Why?"
Student: "I don't want to sit by Mark, he's a pizza face and I don't want to sit there."
Teacher: "Whoa, that seems a bit harsh"
Student: "I know it's mean, I would never say it to him, I just said it to you. Can I move?"
Teacher: "No"
Teacher: "Why?"
Student: "I don't want to sit by Mark, he's a pizza face and I don't want to sit there."
Teacher: "Whoa, that seems a bit harsh"
Student: "I know it's mean, I would never say it to him, I just said it to you. Can I move?"
Teacher: "No"
Friday, September 24, 2010
September 24, 2010
Student: "Oh my gosh, ugggg, gross, I gottta go to the office."
Teacher: "Whats the problem?"
Student: "My backpack is disgusting, I can't even touch it, I gotta go."
Teacher: "What happened?"
Student: "My dog got sprayed by a skunk and rolled all over my backpack, I gotta go, can't you smell it?"
Teacher: "Whats the problem?"
Student: "My backpack is disgusting, I can't even touch it, I gotta go."
Teacher: "What happened?"
Student: "My dog got sprayed by a skunk and rolled all over my backpack, I gotta go, can't you smell it?"
Thursday, September 23, 2010
September 23, 2010
Student:"You should buy more of these pens."
Teacher: "Why?"
Student""Because they are made in Mexico, and the more you buy the more it helps Mexico's economy."
Teacher:"Really?"
Student:" Yes, then people from Mexico won't want to cross the border and come to the U.S. and then get shot at."
Teacher: "Why?"
Student""Because they are made in Mexico, and the more you buy the more it helps Mexico's economy."
Teacher:"Really?"
Student:" Yes, then people from Mexico won't want to cross the border and come to the U.S. and then get shot at."
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
September 22, 2010
Student: "If you don't keep bothering kids to do their homework, they won't do it and then they will be a failure and be a 30 year old living with their parents."
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
September 21, 2010
"What do you mean I didn't dress up? I greased my hair. I spent so long on it I almost missed my bus."
Monday, September 20, 2010
September 20, 2010
Student: "You should cut holes in the back of your football helmet for tomorrows game so you can see out the back."
Student II: " Yea, but then someone might use the Vulcan Death Grip to grab my helmet and pull me down."
Student: "True"
Student II: " Yea, but then someone might use the Vulcan Death Grip to grab my helmet and pull me down."
Student: "True"
Thursday, September 16, 2010
September 16, 2010
Teacher: "What are you doing?"
Student: "I am fixing the pencil sharpener."
Teacher: "Is it broken?"
Student: "No"
Student: "I am fixing the pencil sharpener."
Teacher: "Is it broken?"
Student: "No"
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
September 15, 2010
"Um, a kid and his mom or dad just drove their car down the stairs in front of the school. Should I go tell the office?"
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
September 14, 2010
Teacher: "There are things in life you can't change,for example, your height, eye color, you get the idea. Organization is not one of those. If you try, you can become more organized. Any questions?
Student: "Actually there is a type of surgery that makes you taller, but it is very painful, it stretches your muscles up to 6 inches."
Student: "Actually there is a type of surgery that makes you taller, but it is very painful, it stretches your muscles up to 6 inches."
Monday, September 13, 2010
September 13, 2010
Teacher: "So what's up with your eyebrow?"
Student: "My friends and I took a vote and they decided I should shave it off, so I did."
Student: "My friends and I took a vote and they decided I should shave it off, so I did."
Thursday, September 9, 2010
September 10, 2010
"My breath smells really bad, I think it is all of the smoke I have been breathing in"
September 9, 2010
Student: "I can't take my quiz today. I was storing my notebook on the floor in front of my locker and some kids decided to dump water all over it and it is soaked, I can't read anything on any of my papers."
Teacher: "Why were you storing your notebook on the floor"
Student: "It was quicker than having to open my locker."
Teacher: "Why were you storing your notebook on the floor"
Student: "It was quicker than having to open my locker."
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
September 7, 2010
Student: "I have sand in my hair"
Other Student: "Oh no, don't tell me you were on the big Island in Hawaii"
Student: No, I wasn't"
Other Student: "Good because Queen Palea would rain her wrath on you if you took anything from the island."
Other Student: "Oh no, don't tell me you were on the big Island in Hawaii"
Student: No, I wasn't"
Other Student: "Good because Queen Palea would rain her wrath on you if you took anything from the island."
Friday, September 3, 2010
September 3, 2010
"Let the kid go pee, he really has to go. I can smell the pee all the way over here."
Thursday, September 2, 2010
September 2, 2010
“Sacajawea was the first American, yea, I bet that is what you wanted us to say. She was”
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
September 1, 2010
“I am a model railroader. Sometimes I have to go to the store and buy, say, 10 model oak trees, 1/87th scale.”
August 31, 2010
Student: “Can I go throw this fly I just caught out the window or something?”
Teacher: “Is it alive?”
Student: “Yes, I just grabbed it and am holding it in my hand”
Teacher: “Dang, you’re pretty fast”
Student: yea I am, but can I go now, my nail is digging into my hand so the fly doesn’t escape.”
Teacher: “Is it alive?”
Student: “Yes, I just grabbed it and am holding it in my hand”
Teacher: “Dang, you’re pretty fast”
Student: yea I am, but can I go now, my nail is digging into my hand so the fly doesn’t escape.”
August 30, 2010
Student: “Can I go to the office to make a phone call”
Teacher: “Is this an emergency, or can it wait?”
Student: “Well I need to return a phone call from the animal control”
Teacher: “what happened?”
Student: We had a baby skunk stuck in a part of our house yesterday and I called Animal Control to help get it out and they never called me back until just now.”
Teacher: “What happened to the skunk?”
Student: “I took care of it myself”
Teacher: “Is this an emergency, or can it wait?”
Student: “Well I need to return a phone call from the animal control”
Teacher: “what happened?”
Student: We had a baby skunk stuck in a part of our house yesterday and I called Animal Control to help get it out and they never called me back until just now.”
Teacher: “What happened to the skunk?”
Student: “I took care of it myself”
August 24, 2010
“Do I have to count to five banana or anything like that before I go and hit the kid?”
August 23, 2010
“A Blue Whale- they can reach 180 decibels.”
response to the question in class: what is the loudest thing you can think of?
response to the question in class: what is the loudest thing you can think of?
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