January 31. 2011

"When I have to present in front of groups I get really nervous and pinch the, what's it called?. . . the extra skin on my knuckles."

January 28, 2011

"If I was a superhero I would be Wolverine because he wears his underwear on the inside like a normal person."

January 27, 2011

"It says that the career I would be best suited for is a parking lot attendant."

Student: "My agenda for tonight is as follows: watch my Thursday videos, work on homework, and then watch T.V."
Teacher: "What are Thursday videos?"
Student:"The Escapist, videos about video games, strategies, you know."

January 26, 2011

"I took the career survey today in class and it said I should be a gynecologist or a coroner. It says the gynecologist gets paid more, but as a boy I am not sure about that."

January 25, 2011

"The Speaker of the House, John Boehner, has a funny name."

January 24, 2011

"I am having trouble getting started today, it is also why I was late for school. I am on some new medication that is making me feel funny,it's kind of personal. Let's just say I have GI problems."

January 21, 2011

"I don't think the woman in the front office knows what the 2nd Amendment is. I asked her and she told me to ask you. Don't you think the people in the front office should know that they have the right to own a gun?"

January 20, 2011

"We are bad Girl Scouts, we don't help old people anymore, we barely even sell Girl Scout cookies. We do go on camp outs though."

January 19, 2011

"Will you take us to Blackhawk and let us stay at the Ameristar hotel this summer?"

January 18, 2011

"If I was graded for what I did over the weekend, I would get an F. I laid low all weekend."

January 14, 2011

"Jail isn't that bad compared to a penitentiary or prison."

"I find it disturbing when teachers, or any adult really wears sweat pants in public."

January 13. 2011

"I had to play Mario Brothers last night because my dad wouldn't allow me to play Call of Duty Black-Ops until 2 AM like I normally do."

January 12, 2011

Teacher: "Why are you reading 10 pages of nothing but the letter G printed on the entire page?"
Student: "My friend told me that somewhere in the 10 pages there is a Q instead of a G, so I am staring at it trying to find it. It helps me focus my brain."

January 11, 2011

"Why is it called a Dickie anyway? It makes no sense, why not just call it a sleeveless turtleneck? By the way, turtlenecks are stupid-- they are hot and make your neck feel constrained."

January 10, 2011

Teacher: "What is the purpose of insurance?"
Student: "To pay for your coffin when you die."

"I want to be a reverse Gold Digger for my entire life, marry a rich woman so I never have to work."

January 7, 2011

Teacher: "The theme for round four of the Geography Bee is continents."
Student: "Do you mean like world continents?"

January 6, 2011

"My friend who is a bit overweight bought a Ab X-Pro last summer to try and get abs, it didn't work."

January 5, 2011

"I would rather be in bed than back at school right now, heck, I'd rather have the flu."