March 31, 2011

"Yeah I play poker, I boughted my long board from winning $300 from playing poker."

March 30, 2011

"This is what happens when you don't wear sunscreen when you go skiing over Spring Break."

March 18, 2011

"You smell like wetsuit."

March 17, 2011

"If it is made out of plastic or fiberglass I could fix it, if not, I can't. I would melt it down with a blow torch and re-fasten the broken parts."

March 16, 2011

Teacher: "Why are you not in the talent show this year?"
Student: "Because I suck at talent."

March 15, 2011

"I can't believe that you even have that shirt in your closet."

March 14, 2011

"In May I am going to start drinking alcohol regularly, I mean I am going to start drinking alcohol regularly at communion at church."

March 11, 2011

"The "how to succeed in the 21st century" is the talk my dad gives me every time I get into the car."

March 10, 2011

Student: "Can I use your phone to call someone?"
Teacher: "Who are you going to call?"
Student: "I can't tell you. It's not like I am going to call in an air strike or something."

March 9, 2011

"I am not the kind of person that would get a tattoo on their neck, I am into computers and writing code."

March 8, 2011

"One time in art class I took acrylic paint and painted my entire arm and neck black. I also painted my stomach blue."

March 7, 2011

Student: "Someone just put a picture of a bunch of bras on my desk."
Student II: "What's the big deal, why are you freaking out? There is nothing even in the bras."

March 4, 2011

Teacher: "You need to bring in a magazine on Monday that you can cut up for a project."
Student: "Can we bring in any magazine? Like the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue?
Student II: "There is no way I would cut up that magazine."

March 3, 2011

"I haven't been a poet since third grade."

March 2, 2011

"Can I go to the bathroom? I have to do something about my bloody nose. Can't you see the blood all over my shirt?"

March 1, 2011

Teacher: "Why would you be qualified to go on a Lewis and Clark type expedition?"
Student: "I can speak four Native American languages. I can map almost anything. I am rich and I give to the poor. I can swim."