May 26, 2011

"It was nice knowin' ya. Have a good summer."

May 25, 2011

"Middle School smells like desperation and puberty."

May 24, 2011

"What's with all the moving boxes, did you get sacked?"

May 23, 2011

"I wear a size 15 shoe. Suck it."

May 20, 2011

Student: "Are you worried about the end of the world tomorrow?"
Student II: "Tomorrow is the end of the world?"
Student: "That's what all the Tea Partyers are saying."

May 19, 2011

"P.S. I apologize for not studying for my test and simply wasting your time as a result. I am currently struggling with a procrastination problem and hope to have it under control by the start of high school."

May 18, 2011

Teacher: "Why did you get sent down to the office?"
Student: "I didn't do anything. She says I am too crazy and she can't trust me with golf clubs."

May 17, 2011

"Someone took my book on Saguaros, which drives me crazy because I am the only person in this school that cares about Saguaros."

May 16, 2011

"Gangrene killed my grandfather."

May 13, 2011

"Holy crap, that's alot of trojans. No, not condoms, it's a computer virus, a bad virus that can crash a computer."

May 12, 2011

"That's the same age as my brother, although he's irresponsible. He lost his house."

May 11, 2011

"I am lucky to be alive, I just went to the orthodontist and they basically put a hose clamp on my back molar and the epoxy they used has the same ingredient as poison, if you ingest that you are supposed to call poison control. They are also using a diamond blade spinning at 20,000 rotations per second on my teeth."

May 10, 2011

"What if I blow up and die because my bladder is too full?"

May 9, 2011

"My Mothers Day didn't go so good. I got grounded. Pretty much banished to my room."

May 6, 2011

"She's a little slutty, but I am nice to her. I am friends with a lot of slutty people."

May 5, 2011

Student: "What are we doing in class on Friday?"
Teacher: "Something exciting."
Student: "I am debating on whether or not I want to come to school because it's my birthday."

May 4, 2011

"Would you please stop? Your mouth breathing is annoying me."

May 3, 2011

Student: "We are flexing our muscles, seeing how flabby they are."
Student II: "If she has flabby muscles than I am the Pillsbury Dough Boy."

May 2, 2011

Teacher: What was the final battle of the Civil War? Hint: It begins with the letter "A"."
Student: "Gettysburg"