August 31, 2011

"You know that ride, Journey to the Center of the Earth, yeah, I asked her out on that ride. We've been going out since June 26th. We are going on a date on Thursday. I am paying."

August 30, 2011

Student: "Is this a real fire or just a drill? I hope its real."
Teacher: "What do you mean, then all of your stuff would burn up."
Student: "I wouldn't care, I don't really have anything valuable in there, except for a pack of gum."

August 29, 2011

"Can I go to my locker and get some tape? I got frostbite all over my hands. It's a long story."

August 26, 2011

"Nixon resigned after water something. Water... I can't think of the name. They did the same thing to Anthony Weiner."

August 25, 2011

"I ate something really bad today in food class. Pretty sure it was moldy. I will probably throw up."

August 24, 2011

Teacher: "How are you feeling today?"
Student: "My neck, its sore as hell."

August 23, 2011

"I'm tired, but I am getting hyper 'cause I drank a Monster. I normally don't drink anything in the morning but today is a special occasion."

August 22, 2011

"I store a bunch of bags of Cheetos in my room and a bottle of wet wipes so I can wipe my fingers so I don't get everything in my room orange."

August 18, 2011

"I just pulled out my tooth. What should I do?"

August 17, 2011

Teacher: "Nice, drinking a coke and it's only 8:30 AM."
Student: "I didn't have time for breakfast. I had some bananas, and a coke. I thought it was nice."

August 16, 2011

Teacher: "Welcome to Advanced Social Studies."
Student: "Wait, this can't be advanced, more like average. I was on the brink of failing social studies last year in 7th grade."