September 30, 2011

I never want to get married. Do you know how boring that would be to live with the same person for your whole life? I can barely take care of myself, much less someone else, and another someone else for 18 years. That's 18 years of my life wasted."

September 29, 2011

"I am so tired. I only got three hours of sleep last night. This is how it works: if you stay up late you are so much awesomer and cooler, but then you are tired and your eyes get all red. If you go to bed early you are lamer and not as cool but you are not as tired."

September 28, 2011

"The only thing I can come up with that starts with the letter "O" is ovaries and they don't really relate to Jamestown."

September 27, 2011

"I need to improve on listening. When you're talking sometimes I just zone out or on tests I don't listen so I fail."

September 26, 2011

"Yeah I dressed up today. I did it for picture re-takes. The problem is they were last week on Friday."

September 23, 2011

"What's the point of going out with her when I am probably moving in a year or something?"

September 22, 2011

"Even though he has millions of fans, Justin Bieber sucks because he looks like a girl, he cannot sing, and he has no talent. Also, he's Canadian."

September 21, 2011

"For the hearing and vision tests today I am going to lie and get them all wrong so they call my parents."

September 20, 2011

Student: "We shouldn't ever have homework, think about how humans evolved, back then there was no homework."
Teacher: "Back then there was not indoor plumbing either."
Student: "I would rather have to take a dump outside in a bush everyday than have homework."

September 19, 2011

"Over the weekend we got new sod and I had to shovel manure into a wheel barrow for 8 hours and then today, you know, we had to do bear crawls. My back is killing me, it just can't take it."

September 15, 2011

"Instead of reading the Outsiders I am reading the Insiders. It's not as mainstream."

September 14, 2011

"Everyone is laughing because I just farted real loud."

September 13, 2011

Teacher: "Did you watch the Broncos game last night?"
Student: "No, the Broncos suck balls."

September 12, 2011

"I would literally ride my bike an extra mile to buy local. Especially video games."

September 9, 2011

"I was in band class and because I just got braces I couldn't play my instrument so I drew all over myself. Look, here I drew a flag because of 9/11."

September 8, 2011

Student: "Do you know what I like? Legal loopholes. They make me feel like I have power."
Teacher: "Can you give me an example?"
Student: "I can't think of one."

September 7, 2011

"I got dared to shoot a pixie stick up my nose, and it went in my nose and slightly in my eye. It hurt so bad."

September 6, 2011

"I love Student Council because, like, I like how it like makes me feel. I mean I really don't help people, but like, Student Council helps people."

September 1, 2011

"I ran to the ball. I did what you said and I got 'powned."