October 31, 2011

"It's not that I don't have the maturity to have a magnifying glass in class, it's just that I really wanted to see what it would do to my hand if I held it up to the sun and tried to burn my hand."

October 28, 2011

"If the bar is set high I probably won't be able to reach it, but I can always cross the line."

October 27, 2011

"I heard that because of cell phones and other technology you no longer only get one phone call if you get thrown in jail."

October 26, 2011

"The only reason I like potato salad is because you say "patatah salad." If you just said, "potato salad" it wouldn't be good at all."

October 25, 2011

I couldn't go on that trip, plus I thought to go on that trip you had to be a student with a bright future, you know, takes advanced classes."

October 24, 2011

"I got to ride in a police car this weekend. I was out at 10:30 PM and this cop pulled up and said, "hey, what are you kids doing?" Well it was a lady cop and she told us to get in so she could take us home. The seats in the car are made of plastic so they are easy to clean when drunk people throw up or pee their pants. The officer knew the officer that is at our school so it wasn't that bad."

October 21, 2011

"I know what you are trying to do, I opened my parents mail and read the letter, I know."

October 20, 2011

"No, it is not resolved. She will not even speak to me, I screwed up, I told someone who she liked and she said if I did that she would kill me, well she told me after I already told the person about who she liked that she would kill me. I don't know what to do, if I should lie to her, even though I did it, or if I should just tell her sorry."

October 19, 2011

Teacher: "Are you ready to go in the game?"
Student: "No, I am not ready mentally... or physically."

October 18, 2011

"If you re-arrange the letters in Stanford you can spell Sonfardt."

October 17, 2011

"Let's look up the word boob in the dictionary to see what it says."

October 13, 2011

Student: "I was going to write something innapropriate on my Salem Witch Trials project, but I didn't."
Teacher: "That's probably a good idea."
Student: "I was going to write, "scare away the witches and bring on the bitches" pretty clever isn't it?"

October 12, 2011

"I don't really know anything about Disturbed, I just wear the T-shirt because it is cool."

October 11, 2011

"We are going to do an interview with Betty White for our project. Isn't that the lady that sewed the first American Flag?"

October 10, 2011

"When I was in the locker room taking a crap the automatic lights turned off and I didn't know what to do so I sat there waving my arms."

October 7, 2011

"I have like read To Kill a Mockingbird five times. SparkNotes three times, watched the movie two times, and read the book one time."

October 6, 2011

"You probably can't spend the night, my mom says you are not allowed at our house because you are a bad influence."

October 5, 2011

"I have some hairspray in my locker, want me to tease your hair?"

October 4, 2011

"Yoga teachers. I would bet that the number one employer in Boulder is yoga teachers."

October 3, 2011

"I will not be at school today, I am so sick and very contagious. Really, I am so sick, I really want to be at school today, I am having to miss alot of things because I am so sick, like school today and a date over the weekend."