October 31, 2012

"He's wearing a pencil skirt, he's dressed as Snooki, the same as he was dressed up as last year only this year he has a baby with him."

October 30, 2012

"Yeah I have heard of Common Sense, not the one you are talking about by Thomas Paine, but the common sense my parents are always telling me I lack."

October 29, 2012

"What do you do if you are changing in the locker room and someone throws your shoe into the toilet?"

October 26, 2012

Teacher: "Can anyone tell me the name of the famous traitor during the American Revolution?" Student: "Arnold Palmer"

October 25, 2012

"Yes, I fell asleep in class, I drank a chai before class and it was like a warm sleeping bag in my belly."

October 24, 2012

"I will just eat it frozen, I don’t have time to thaw out this microwaveable pasta."

October 23, 2012

"They should allow hugging at this school, it would help with peoples self esteem. Also, medical research has proven that hugging is good for you. Look it up on the internet."

October 22, 2012

"I blocked my mom on Facebook and she grounded me."

October 19, 2012

"That’s a cannon. It is not what it looks like. For real, It’s a cannon."

October 18, 2012

Student: "Can I go wash my hands, I have someone's blood on them." Teacher: "Whose blood is on your hands?" Student: "Honestly, I have no idea."

October 17, 2012

"Which President killed Marilyn Monroe?"

October 16, 2012

"I saw a quote the other day that said ‘Facebook: ruining lives since 2004’ and I mean it’s true, it is so bad, even the guy that created Facebook hates it because his life is ruined because he is famous and he never wanted to be famous."

October 15, 2012

"It’s not my fault. If my parents didn't want me to hear bad language then they shouldn't have sent me to public school."

October 12, 2012

No School

October 11, 2012

"I only get $7 a week for allowance and that’s if I do my chores, which rarely happens."

October 10, 2012

"I studied my balls off for that test and I don't think it mattered."

October 9, 2012

"Here's my paper. I hope you fall in love with it."

October 8, 2012

"Last year, for fun, we bought adult diapers and then peed in our pants."

October 5, 2012

Student I: "Oh my gosh, I just saw his butt, well, his whitey tighties." Student II: "Yes, I probably should have thought about not standing up when I took off my warm-up pants and accidentally pulled down my shorts as well."

October 4, 2012

"Yeah, I watched the presidential debate last night. I watched it with my pet rat. My pet rat is a boss, he’s almost three years old and he is house trained and he hangs out in my basement."

October 3, 2012

"One time my braces hurt so bad I didn't eat for a week."

October 2, 2012

Student I: "Do hogs have udders?" Student II: "Um, no they have nipples, up to sixteen." Student I: "If they have more than two nipples it is considered an udder." Student II: "Uh, no I don’t think you are right."

October 1, 2012

"The point is they look like male boxers, I know you say they are shorts, but my underwear are longer than that."