September 30, 2013

"It isn't my teeth that are keeping me from playing. I puked. I ate five of those Campbells soup things and then puked."

September 27, 2013

"How can she be twenty? There is no way, I thought she was fourteen. No way a twenty year old would like me."

September 26, 2013

"Could you have your mom send my mom an email inviting me to your birthday party?"

September 25, 2013

"I am not sure how I feel about playing football against a girl."

September 24, 2013

"I don’t know where anything is, except North Dakota, ‘cause that is where my grandfather was born. He got to drive a truck when he was like eight."

September 23, 2013

"Pocahontas was such a slut. I am sorry, but she was, in the second movie she was going out with one guy and then she starting making out with some other guy."

September 20, 2013

"Fun fact: I am ⅛ Cherokee, but I still suck at sports."

September 19, 2013

"I-da-ho, no you-da-ho."

September 18, 2013

"I have to run and pick up my school pictures fast, so no one else sees them. I bet they are horrible."

September 11, 2013

"Um, could you buy gluten free donuts next time? 'Cause my friend is gluten free."

January 10, 2013

"Yeah, I ate a Slim Jim for lunch. Very healthy."

September 9, 2013

"If there was no Constitution we would just be bums sitting by the side of the road, if there even was a road, which there probably wouldn't be."

September 6, 2013

"Have you ever heard of a book check? It's where you knock someones' books out of their hands and they fall all over the ground."

September 5, 2013

"He was eating crayons and sticking them up his nose, I just thought you should know."

September 4, 2013

"Is it just me or did anyone else see that kid take out a back scratcher from his backpack and scratch his back?"

September 3, 2013

"My sister was in a mosh pit once, she said it was really scary, especially when she was thrown in the air."