October 31, 2013

"There is this kid that wears his football uniform every year for Halloween, I mean come on, come up with a real costume."

October 30, 2013

"You know the banana costume I wore in 6th grade for Halloween? I am going to wear the same thing this year only I am going to wear a Speedo on top of it and be a banana hammock."

October 29, 2013

"Can I go get my tea from my locker and heat it up?"

October 25, 2013

"Will we run so much we puke?"

October 24, 2013

"Could a woman vote in Colonial America if she got a sex change?"

October 23, 2013

"This is poop. I drew it."

October 22, 2013

"If Machiavelli said it was better to be feared than loved, no wonder my mom is so mean."

October 21, 2013

"I have developed a strong dislike for manual pencil sharpeners ever since I was in the office and they made me sharpen 300 pencils and I had blisters all over my hands."

October 18, 2013

"I thought I got a concussion, but then I realized I don’t know what a concussion is."

October 17, 2013

"You know that kid who we saw yesterday and thought he was a coach, the big, huge fat kid, yeah, he was not a coach, he is in 8th grade."

October 16, 2013

October 15, 2013

"Hey, at least we are getting more done than Congress, look on the bright side."

October 11, 2013

"What, I have a D-? No way. I am so screwed if my parents find out about this. If I actually work in class today will that help my grade?"

October 10, 2013

Student I: "We should vote with our heads down." Student II: "No we shouldn't, that's only for childish people who can't handle seeing it when their dumb idea gets shot down. I say we keep our heads up and vote."

October 9, 2013

"Topical, not like a lotion or something you put on your hands, but topical, like topic, trendy, has a theme."

October 8, 2013

"My dad helped my brother pull his head out of his ass, so he didn't have a choice."

October 7, 2013

"Sleeping during class is beneficial because you will be re-energized for your later classes instead of not gaining any knowledge because you are so tired."

October 4, 2013

"Our family doesn't stuff their turkeys, we keep them plain."

October 3, 2013

"I just realized I put my shirt on in-side-out. Can I go to the bathroom and fix it?"

October 2, 2013

"I still have a VHS, my grandma uses it. It sucks. It takes like two hours to rewind."

October 1, 2013

"The government is down, we can do whatever we want."