May 29, 2014

"The answer to this question is self-explanatory."

May 28, 2014

"If you melt down 500 pennies you will get over $1000 worth of metal."

May 27, 2014

"I had to go #2 at school. That never happens. I try to plan for this and always go before school and then again after school."

May 23, 2014

Student: "Don't yell at me." Teacher: "I am not yelling at you." Student: "Ok, fine, don't whisper yell at me."

May 22, 2014

"My cat barfed on my assignment."

May 21, 2014

Teacher: "What is the term for someone who moved from the North to the South after the Civil War to make money?" Student: "Asshole?"

May 20, 2014

May 14, 2014

"My dad has a side mullet. He always grows it out and then cuts it while on vacation and then grows it out again."

May 13, 2014

"Can you please move him, he is so, so annoying."

May 12, 2014

"Are we going to do anything today in class that will be entertaining?"

May 9, 2014

Student: "He was being an um... meany-poo, so I punched him and pushed him down." Teacher: "A meany-poo?" Student: "Well I'd say asshole, but I don't want to get in trouble again."

May 8, 2014

Student: "What did I miss, I was gone tomorrow." Teacher: "huh"

May 7, 2014

"You should never be locker partners with someone you are dating."

May 6, 2014

"I was just doing a hip thrust because I was imitating this kid yesterday at our baseball game who was doing it."

May 5, 2014

"I've forged my parents signature before. It's not hard."

May 2, 2014

"Can we leave class for a few minutes to deal with girl issues?"

May 1, 2014

"I have lunch detention for a week thanks to you."